Ah its a wonderful Welsh morning in Swansea! The rain is hammering against my window and the sea has gone from silver to grey. I am sat up in bed with a cuppa and am contemplating everything that has been plodding through my mind recently. I have a musical day ahead of me with a bit of rehearsing and then over to Ray's to lay down three templates for the next three songs we're recording.
Everything feels strange again today. Like a weird limbo has taken over.
I have spoken many times about how I work creatively. Going from that space of having tonnes of projects on the go and enjoying it and then wanting them all finished and done because I can't fit anything else in. I do love those moments when everything is finished but it really isn't long before I pick up another project to get started on. I read somewhere that human beings are happiest when they are progressing toward something. When we are on a journey. The more I look at things the more I tend to agree with that.
It's that balance between enjoying the day at hand and also knowing it is part of a bigger plan to create something that is a unique expression of you.
I will be honest, I don't always get that balance right. I often slip into the mindset of putting WAY too much pressure on myself and throwing way too much at myself. Which I know is strange because the second I feel that kind of intense pressure the first thing I do is come to a complete stop. I'm almost phobic about stress these days. I can't let it exist in any overt way in my life yet I seem to continually try?!
I tend to be very goal orientated in nature but I mad a point of not making any extra goals this year that weren't based around self care. The album, the books, the exhibition are all things I set in motion last year and all seem to be coming into fruition now. It feels like this year is the last shove towards getting these creative things finished. Maybe that's why this little dance is happening? I have been thinking a lot about the pace of my own creativity lately and what is most beneficial for me. I LOVE to be continually creating but I also need to do it in a way that gets me the results I want in a way that isn't harmful to my well being.
In order to do this I need to go one day at a time. Letting each project unfold in it's own way at it's own pace.