Y Tho?


 I crawled out of bed into the deep hazy air of a warmer than I can handle summer morning and I tried my best to wipe the sweat off my neck before I ran to the shower. Before my day had even begun I could feel the emotional fatigue of everything that has been happening lately catching up with me. Now normally, a Thursday is my day off from all work but, lately it's been an exclusive art day. Normally that's a good day for me but sometimes I actually need the day to recharge and today was one of those days. I've done nothing. Absolutely nothing. I haven't answered clients calls or messages or emails because even the idea of them feels invasive. I needed the whole day to get myself rested and recharged and now as the evening commences I feel myself again. I am so lucky that I have built a lifestyle where, for the majority I can take time out if I need it. I love making art, I love making music and I love writing, it's all a part of my expression but every now and again I need a day out from my goals. A day to just merge with the sofa and face plant excessive amounts of cake. Doing that over the years has never really been a problem, my practice has been to do it without feeling guilty.



I create one canvas a week, I have one full music rehearsal a week and when the inspiration and planning comes into action I will also be writing in my novels and books every week too. I want the perfect balance of routine with everything and lately I can feel it all falling into place. Still I have my own personal eject button from everything. When self care demands it I am fully allowed to stop everything and take care of myself. Nice or naughty food, afternoon naps, incense and some writing, whatever I want really I am licenced to do it and today was just one of those days. I have eaten nearly a whole packet of salted peanuts, had 2 chocolate bars and a packet of jelly babies....all to myself! I swear if I have any more sugar I am going to need one of you to make a call to have me cut out of my house. I know I am going to pay for that tomorrow on the treadmill but that's a whole day away! A long time ago I was told to look after myself. “Your body is your business.” was a sentence that has always stuck and the older I am getting the more important it is becoming. So, I do my best to rest, to exercize and to limit the amount of crap I put in my body ( he says eye balling the chocolate bar he just spotted that Stu stupidly left on the mantlepiece when he went to work....god help me! )!



I had plans to get two small canvas' done today in my huge project to finish all my empty canvas by the end of this year ( I have about 37 of them! )but I may have to wait for the weekend or maybe I'll get some time tomorrow afternoon after work, we'll see. I've also been thinking a little about this blog, whether it even works any more? Does it help? Am I talking about the things I should be talking about? Am I making it enough of a place to connect and reach out? I'm not sure right now and it's under review. Whilst I love making art and creating in general I always feel a step behind when it comes to branding on this stuff. I keep feeling like I there's something that I am missing. Creatively I am on a high again with ideas and productivity but in the connection area of this part of my work there is something I feel like I am about to hit on. It may change everything, it may take me in a whole new direction. I'm not sure, I'll keep you posted. Until then, let's keep talking...



Big love,



Ryan James x




Leave a comment

Add comment